1. |
I Cry (On the Holidays)
04:47
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Christmas,
is a time for giving
Christmas,
I like to give things
Christmas reminds everybody
to give a little bit of themselves,
have a little heart.
Every holiday, I cry!
Christmas is a time for giving,
I gave everything I had
to you, you you,
oh, to you!
I gave everything I had
don't tell me you don't like gifts
I just want you to be happy this year,
but if you're not-
On Christmas I'll cry!
(tears)
On Christmas I'll Cry!
(sad stuff)
This Christmas, I'll cry!
(I'm talkin' 'bout Christmas tears)
This Christmas, I'll CRY!
(Santa can't help you now)
Christmas morning,
fill my stocking up with tears
(to the brim)
Chop a yuletide log
up, just for one
It gets so lonely,
I need gingerbread friends
in a gingerbread house
to keep me company
Cry!
Cry on Christmas morning
Cry!
Cry on Christmas eve
I cry on the Holidays!
(I'm crying)
Thanksgiving dinner alone, no turkey
friends (are nonexistent)
Thanksgiving alone, no friends
no turkey
Got too many dinner rolls!
No one to share 'em with
Guess I'm munching alone tonight
It's time for new years,
looks like I won't be having any guests
Looks like it's a day
I'm gonna regret
(I'd rather forget)
Try not to remember
(But I'll be forced to remember!)
But it's hard when you
have a lonely 31st of December
Bought too many danishes
and appetizers!
Bought too many chocolates!
(And danishes)
I'm all alone!
(This house is not a home!)
Watching the ball drop on TV,
didn't have fun!
These holidays, no presents
Lookin' for a hug,
but that's what I left the Christmas tree up for.
I lost all my giftcards
(spent the holidays with my cats)
Couldn't shop on all the deals,
couldn't grab all the holiday steals
So I disappointed all my friends,
they didn't have good gifts
They left me,
for the holidays
Cry!
I think I might
Cry!
Every
holiday!
I CRY!
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2. |
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Well I'm gonna be late for Latemas,
Oh man, I know you fuckers hate this
The bells ring, ding-dong,
hang the stockings up, but not for long
I forgot to send my cards this year,
maybe I'll do it next year
I came in the room, and the ball dropped down,
like five minutes ago
Then my dad came in the room, with nothing to say
Lights and garland all around,
and I'm climbing up and down
a god-damn ladder, now I'm fallin' down
and then my dad tells me that the wreath -
(I saw the ball drop)
has got to go
Dad, (on Tivo)
this I know
Take a look at me son
It's a bad time for a seasonal song,
'cause nobody cares anymore
I'm gonna be, don't wanna be -
I'm gonna be late for Latemas
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3. |
Wonderful Holiday
01:23
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Simply having a wonderful holiday
Sitting around this tree, all year
Sipping the eggnog, I fear
What's inside these presents is not so clear
Santa was here
When wrapping the presents, I shed one tear
Yes, the stockings are stuffed for you, my dear
Kris Kringle is here!
I like it when we open presents
Simply having a wonderful holiday
Do you see what I see?
and a yo-ho-ho
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4. |
Once a Year
02:50
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Just once a year
I come out from the frozen, snowed-in garage
Pulled out against my will by a reindeer entourage
Sinking down from all the weight,
I don't feel a thing
Loaded up with all the gifts
that I am forced to bring
From what I've heard I'm a sturdy sleigh,
I've been used for years
Though I must say I'm afraid of heights,
they're the biggest of my fears
(can you give me a?)
Yo-ho-ho! The sleigh won't go!
We're in town tonight!
Up in the sky! (A bird! A plane!)
No, no, no! Look -
It's simply Santa's sleigh!
Even though I never sleep,
the night I dread is here
Bracing for the worst night of my life,
yes it happens once a year
As the night drags on
I fly around this god-forsaken world
And all it's for is a trail of gifts
to be instantly unfurled!
Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho!
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5. |
"The Christmas Episode"
07:45
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Ho!
Ho!
HO!
Oh yeah it's Christmastime,
oh yeah it's Christmastime
Oh yeah! it's Christmastime,
oh yeah it's Christmastime!
Oh yeah it's Christmastime,
oh yeah it's Christmastime!
Well, yeah it's Christmastime,
oh yeah it's Christmastime!
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ho!
It's now that time of year
and now I simply have to go!
Yes, Mrs. Clause knows
that I have to get on my sleigh,
I need Rudolph to brightly
guide the way!
O! Oh Christ, O God! It's Christmastime
Oh God, You know when Your Birthday is.
Where did all the presents go?
A burglar just walked out the front door
Oh yeah it's Christmastime,
oh yeah it's Christmastime,
Oh yeah it's Christmastime,
oh yeah it's Christmastime!
Oh yeah it's Christmastime,
oh now it's Christmastime
I know it's Christmastime,
so now it's Christmastime!!
(Sit on my lap, Santa)
It's Christmas! It's Christmas!
It's Christmas!
It's Christmas! It's Christmas!
It's Christmas! So, impart
mistletoe kisses!
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6. |
More 4 Me
04:05
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Laying in my bed,
drinking this weird juice
made out of eggs
Up on the the roof I hear a clattering
Sleigh bells ringing & a ding-dingling
Down the chimney He comes,
looks like He’s having fun,
but He saw me awake,
I guess it’s time to run!
I try to escape but I’m not match at all!
He puts me in His sleigh
& then off we go!
Take another sip
of this juice made out of eggs
Wrapping up my gifts
with the hopes of spreading joy
Well- this is a song, & it’s all about eggnog
It tastes like custard
It really cuts the mustard
I can’t can’t drink this eggnog!
Because I am allergic!
He can’t have this eggnog,
but that just leaves
more for me!
Eggnog in a cup, eggnog in a mug,
eggnog by the fire while chilling on a rug
Boy, it’s the holiday season
Santa’s coming with bars
Dropping coal so hot you can feel it from Mars,
bars like the candy crunching all on this jam
Family’s gathered ‘round the table eating holiday ham
Yeah, now cookie’s all on my plate
I can tell if you’re awake so don’t stay up late!
Mistletoe’s hanging, holiday music is banging
Droppin’ down your chimney like a home invasion
Got gifts in my sack manufactured by Asians,
it’s amazing, it’s a season for giving
It’s a season to be thankful for the life that you’re living
Got the EpiPen, I’m poking
Eggs in the head, I’m yolking
All my friends, they’re joking
Can’t have no nog!
It’s got me choking!
(This song has me feeling sick)
I love eggnog,
& I’m doing a dance
& it’s all about eggnog, but you can’t really see
’cause it’s all in my dreams,
& music is purely
an auditory medium,
so you can’t even see it
but you surely can hear it
Just listen to my dance
Just listen to my dance
Just listen to my dance
Just listen to my dance
Just listen to my dance
(JUST LISTEN TO MY DANCE)
Just listen to my dance
Just listen to my dance
Just listen to my dance
Just listen to my dance
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7. |
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Thanks for coming,
you had a good day
Your dad had fun
just while it lasted
Santa took our problems
away in his sleigh
We all wept as the music played
Thanks for coming
you had a good day
Your dad had fun
just while it lasted
Santa took our problems
away in his sleigh
We all wept as the music played
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
He here comes, yes he does
"Ah, look at us, huh?
I mean, look at us,
here we are
(Wow) (We're here now)
It's been a good run
(Yes it has)
It's been a pretty good run
I'm proud of us (me too)
We Three Boys
(You don't even know)
We should make a toast:
Here's to friendship, fun,
and music
Here, here
(Here, here)"
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Here comes Santa Clause,
Yes he does, yeah
Thanks for coming,
you had a good day
Your dad had fun
just while it lasted
Santa took our problems
away in his sleigh
We all wept as the music played
Thanks for coming,
you had a good day
Your dad had fun
just while it lasted
Santa took our problems
away in his sleigh
We all wept as the music played
Come on! Santa!
You know what to do,
you take our problems
with you
(Shit on a record, and spun it around,
don't try and listen, all you'll hear is brown)
The sounds of our sounds
will always prevail
You wanna hear more?
Just write an email
If you've got problems,
they'll all go away
Just wait a few minutes -
they'll all go away
Santa, where have you gone?
You dumped my problems
in a dumpster
In a dumpster
(My problems lay)
My stupid problems,
are Santa's problems now
Oh shit,
you stupid asshole
(Stupid asshole problems, now!)
Thanks for coming,
you had a good day
Our dad had fun
the whole big day
Santa took our troubles
and put them in a pile,
everybody cried,
because of their loss
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The Thumbnuts Jackson, Michigan
The Thumbnuts are Gus Péwé, Trevor Cochran, & many other people, women, & men.
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