Do a Better Job

by The Thumbnuts

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04:24
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10:01

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released December 25, 2015

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The Thumbnuts Jackson, Michigan

Gus Péwé, Tommy Colangelo, and Trevor Cochran are The Thumbnuts.

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Track Name: Open the Door
My dad's possessed, hole in his chest,
where his heart should be, now an abyss

He's got demon eyes, the ship, he will capsize,
I'm a captain on a sunken boat

Should've dug a moat around the fort,
Upload my wallet, I got forty dollars,

I wanna party in a demon jalopy, while The Four Horsemen horses make their hoofies go cloppy

Are we there yet, dad?
Are we there yet, dad?

When my dad lies, red are his eyes,
so come inside and accept your prize
Track Name: Pound Your Drum
Pound your drum.
Pound your drum.
Pound your drum.
Pound your drum.

Right now.

Pound. Your. Drum. Now.
Pound. Your. Drum. Right now.
Pound. Your. Drum. Now.
Pound. Your. Drum. Right now.

If you just got to pound your drum, then pound your drum.
If you just want to pound your drum, then pound your drum.

You gotta pound the drum,
you gotta bang the drum,
you gotta pound your drum,
you gotta pound that drum.
Track Name: School Boy Blues
Open up the front door, open up my locker,
open up the classroom door, everybody's laughing,
got no pants on, didn't study for the test

Stealing all my stuff, yeah, my lunch money's gone, yeah
The lunch lady has no sympathy, the lunch lady has no empathy

All the kids are bad, yeah, I'm the only good one
Why can't the world be just something better than it is? 'Cause it's not.

Some places it's better, other places it's not,
I got them school boy blues a lot

Here we go yeah, the bell is ringing, class is ending,
What will I do with my afternoon?

School boy blues, school boy blues oh yeah, school boy blues all night, School boy blues all day, I don't know, you don't care, school boy blues all day, school boy blues all night...
Track Name: Hold the Phone
If you need a friend, I can be your friend
If you need a pal, I can be your pal
If you need the weed, I can bring the weed
If you need me, then I'll be me

If you wanna dance then, hey, just dance
If you wanna relax then, hey, relax
Let's all go to the beach today,
let's all have a good-time party

Alright, okay
Alright, okay, alright, okay, alright, okay-o
Track Name: Trevor's Driving On a Bus
Cruise control, turnpike toll, bus stop
Then he parks real bad, give the bumper a crunch, oh no,
and he merges right, and he swerves to the left, alright
Then he honks his horn from on Rocky Mountain High

He drives across the pond, and up Big Ben, oh yeah
Votes for Cameron, drives back down again, oh no
Then he rides his brakes through the salted lakes, at night
Then he honks his horn from on Rocky Mountain High

Trevor's driving on a bus

Drivin' the wrong way down the street tonight
Makin' myself feel pretty alright

Doin' time for a crime that he didn't fuckin' do!

(Special Boy)
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, special boy, special boy
Let me your special boy, special boy, special boy
Let me be your special boy
Little girl, little girl, I can be the special world you've been waitin' for
You know you need me in your life...
Track Name: Party Next Week
Well the table's set and my schedule's clear
the party next week could be the party of the year
Trevor said that he'd bring the chips
the music will be loud, and we'll shake our hips
The party next week will be so loud that the cops will come

I hired a clown...

Someone I know told me there's a party next
Everyone can come, I hope that sounds fun
Don't tell my mom, cause I'll have fruit punch, and I'll make you lunch,
and we'll dip in the pool, there'll be all kinds of great snacks,
and chip dip too

Don't you dare tell my dad about this party
planning for a big-ass party next week, hope you'll go

Party next week, hope you'll go
Party next week, hope you'll go
Party next week, hope you'll come
Party next week, hope you'll go, girl
to the, party, at my house, it's next week, bring your friends

Bounce house, pool, skateboard, brats,
chip dip, hummus, basketball, cops,
soda pop, doughnuts, racquetball court,
pizza, hummus, basketball court
thin mints, girl scouts, marching band, confetti
magic show, pencils, pinball, spaghetti

From ding-dongs, to bon-bons, to napkins, to salt
cheese whip, and dinner rolls, assorted nuts, court,
laser-tag, rollerblades, piñata, tree-fort
They can park in the yard, I got invites to sort
I'll spare you the details, this is no time to speak
my parents are sleeping...

Feeling so hype, I can't sleep
party next week
Track Name: Empires
An empire, an empire, an empire
the whole world, an empire
the whole world, an empire
an empire, an empire, an empire,
Empire
The whole world is an empire
The whole world is an empire
The whole world is on fire
The whole world is on fire

Well, you know I loved you more than Smaug loves gold
But it got so hard when your heart got cold
~The Misty Mountains Cold~
One good film turned to three long, bad ones
Shoulda been a classic critics show to their grandsons
Walkin' around for like three fuckin' movies
48 frames a second makin' people woozy
The first red flag was you liked the hobbit movie,
second red flag was your first bad boyfriend,
third red flag was your second bad boyfriend
ADVDVD, what the fuck's it stand for?
Bluray, 4K, your picture needs an upgrade
and now he's looking bloated like a Hobbit movie runtime
a second-rate Aladdin dating you is a warcrime

She thinks you're James Joyce, boy
But you're just Kevin James, boy
'Cept you're not even that, boy
Cause you ain't the King of Queens, boy

You're right down there with the movie Pluto Nash
B movie, C movie, D movie, trash,
and when I get mad, you'll be beggin' for a truce,
'cause I got more juice than Bishop in Juice.
But she don't need to hear from our fragile male voices,
at the the end of the day, her body her choices

(Beautiful Girl)
Beautiful girl, I want to join your world,
I want to see you swirl your hair
I want you to lay your head down on me
I want to feel your warmth until I leave this Earth
because I'm an alien, and that's the sick part of it all
I'm going to leave the planet behind
Track Name: Our Friend Trevor
So long goodbye to our friend Trevor
We thought you'd be our friend forever
So long goodbye to our friend Trevor
We won't be seeing you again

Trevor, you're gone but thank you for the memories
Trevor, you're gone but thanks pal for the songs
You tried to hold a flower high up in the air,
but the wind was strong and now the flower's gone

What the fuck man, you left the band
What the fuck man, you are a band
What, fuck, band, man
God once was a man

Black is white, and 2+2=5, it'll be alright now
I'm looking down on you, from a cloud, 'cause I crashed my car, yeah
And it was all my fault, turned it 'round, I shoulda dug that moat
and fixed that hole between us, but it's over now
I've never seen such sin
This is all my fault, and it's all my fault
You put salt in my wounds, and it's all my fault, this is all my fault
It's really crazy, it's really nuts, ohhh
Track Name: My Dad's a Mom
My dad came home and looked me in the eye,
he said, "Son, I changed my sex, and I dunno why.
Whatever you do, don't tell mom.
She'll just have to listen to the words of this song."

My dad left home, with tears in his eyes,
he climbed in his car, and said his goodbyes

He said, goodbye, to me.

We used to have fun,
we used to have laughs,
we used to take baths
Track Name: Merlin
Merlin has a handsome grin, I wish Merlin was my twin
Merlin with the nice dark skin, all the magic is within
Bless you Merlin and your kin, I go places Merlin's been
Loving Merlin is no sin, all the magic is within

He'll try to cast you in a spell

When you're with Merlin only fun awaits, best damn guy in the United States
He's a guy you'd wanna date, I can't believe he's my roommate

He'll try to cast you in a spell
Dive in and save your soul from hell

Merlin, oh, Merlin
Merlin, oh, Merlin-lin-lin-lin

Once Merlin, twice Merlin, thrice Merlin, oh you're my Merlin
Merlin, oh, Merlin
Merlin, oh, Merlin
Mer, Lin, Oh, Oh you're my Merlin

Merlin, Mer, Merlin, Merlin

One, two, one, two, three, four!
Merlin has a handsome grin, I wish Merlin was my twin
Merlin with the nice dark skin, all the magic is within
Bless you Merlin and your kin, I go places Merlin's been
Loving Merlin is no sin, all the magic is within
When you're with Merlin only fun awaits, best damn guy in the United States
He's a guy you'd wanna date, I can't believe he's my roommate
Hey Merlin, what's your name? It's Merlin, that's a neat name

(Dan's Lament)
What the fuck man? you left the band
Appetizer, super-sizer, can I get extra ranch?
Please don't go, please don't go
Why is the shake machine broke?