Do a Better Job, by The Thumbnuts

Do a Better Job

by The Thumbnuts

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1.	Open the Door 02:33	lyrics	buy track
My dad's possessed, hole in his chest, where his heart should be, now an abyss He's got demon eyes, the ship, he will capsize, I'm a captain on a sunken boat Should've dug a moat around the fort, Upload my wallet, I got forty dollars, I wanna party in a demon jalopy, while The Four Horsemen horses make their hoofies go cloppy Are we there yet, dad? Are we there yet, dad? When my dad lies, red are his eyes, so come inside and accept your prize
2.	Pound Your Drum 03:13	lyrics	buy track
Pound your drum. Pound your drum. Pound your drum. Pound your drum. Right now. Pound. Your. Drum. Now. Pound. Your. Drum. Right now. Pound. Your. Drum. Now. Pound. Your. Drum. Right now. If you just got to pound your drum, then pound your drum. If you just want to pound your drum, then pound your drum. You gotta pound the drum, you gotta bang the drum, you gotta pound your drum, you gotta pound that drum.
3.	School Boy Blues 02:44	lyrics	buy track
Open up the front door, open up my locker, open up the classroom door, everybody's laughing, got no pants on, didn't study for the test Stealing all my stuff, yeah, my lunch money's gone, yeah The lunch lady has no sympathy, the lunch lady has no empathy All the kids are bad, yeah, I'm the only good one Why can't the world be just something better than it is? 'Cause it's not. Some places it's better, other places it's not, I got them school boy blues a lot Here we go yeah, the bell is ringing, class is ending, What will I do with my afternoon? School boy blues, school boy blues oh yeah, school boy blues all night, School boy blues all day, I don't know, you don't care, school boy blues all day, school boy blues all night...
4.	Hold the Phone 03:20	lyrics	buy track
If you need a friend, I can be your friend If you need a pal, I can be your pal If you need the weed, I can bring the weed If you need me, then I'll be me If you wanna dance then, hey, just dance If you wanna relax then, hey, relax Let's all go to the beach today, let's all have a good-time party Alright, okay Alright, okay, alright, okay, alright, okay-o
5.	Trevor's Driving On a Bus 06:10	lyrics	buy track
Cruise control, turnpike toll, bus stop Then he parks real bad, give the bumper a crunch, oh no, and he merges right, and he swerves to the left, alright Then he honks his horn from on Rocky Mountain High He drives across the pond, and up Big Ben, oh yeah Votes for Cameron, drives back down again, oh no Then he rides his brakes through the salted lakes, at night Then he honks his horn from on Rocky Mountain High Trevor's driving on a bus Drivin' the wrong way down the street tonight Makin' myself feel pretty alright Doin' time for a crime that he didn't fuckin' do! (Special Boy) Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, special boy, special boy Let me your special boy, special boy, special boy Let me be your special boy Little girl, little girl, I can be the special world you've been waitin' for You know you need me in your life...
6.	Party Next Week 04:05	lyrics	buy track
Well the table's set and my schedule's clear the party next week could be the party of the year Trevor said that he'd bring the chips the music will be loud, and we'll shake our hips The party next week will be so loud that the cops will come I hired a clown... Someone I know told me there's a party next Everyone can come, I hope that sounds fun Don't tell my mom, cause I'll have fruit punch, and I'll make you lunch, and we'll dip in the pool, there'll be all kinds of great snacks, and chip dip too Don't you dare tell my dad about this party planning for a big-ass party next week, hope you'll go Party next week, hope you'll go Party next week, hope you'll go Party next week, hope you'll come Party next week, hope you'll go, girl to the, party, at my house, it's next week, bring your friends Bounce house, pool, skateboard, brats, chip dip, hummus, basketball, cops, soda pop, doughnuts, racquetball court, pizza, hummus, basketball court thin mints, girl scouts, marching band, confetti magic show, pencils, pinball, spaghetti From ding-dongs, to bon-bons, to napkins, to salt cheese whip, and dinner rolls, assorted nuts, court, laser-tag, rollerblades, piñata, tree-fort They can park in the yard, I got invites to sort I'll spare you the details, this is no time to speak my parents are sleeping... Feeling so hype, I can't sleep party next week
7.	Empires 04:24	lyrics	buy track
An empire, an empire, an empire the whole world, an empire the whole world, an empire an empire, an empire, an empire, Empire The whole world is an empire The whole world is an empire The whole world is on fire The whole world is on fire Well, you know I loved you more than Smaug loves gold But it got so hard when your heart got cold ~The Misty Mountains Cold~ One good film turned to three long, bad ones Shoulda been a classic critics show to their grandsons Walkin' around for like three fuckin' movies 48 frames a second makin' people woozy The first red flag was you liked the hobbit movie, second red flag was your first bad boyfriend, third red flag was your second bad boyfriend ADVDVD, what the fuck's it stand for? Bluray, 4K, your picture needs an upgrade and now he's looking bloated like a Hobbit movie runtime a second-rate Aladdin dating you is a warcrime She thinks you're James Joyce, boy But you're just Kevin James, boy 'Cept you're not even that, boy Cause you ain't the King of Queens, boy You're right down there with the movie Pluto Nash B movie, C movie, D movie, trash, and when I get mad, you'll be beggin' for a truce, 'cause I got more juice than Bishop in Juice. But she don't need to hear from our fragile male voices, at the the end of the day, her body her choices (Beautiful Girl) Beautiful girl, I want to join your world, I want to see you swirl your hair I want you to lay your head down on me I want to feel your warmth until I leave this Earth because I'm an alien, and that's the sick part of it all I'm going to leave the planet behind
8.	Our Friend Trevor 05:34	lyrics	buy track
So long goodbye to our friend Trevor We thought you'd be our friend forever So long goodbye to our friend Trevor We won't be seeing you again Trevor, you're gone but thank you for the memories Trevor, you're gone but thanks pal for the songs You tried to hold a flower high up in the air, but the wind was strong and now the flower's gone What the fuck man, you left the band What the fuck man, you are a band What, fuck, band, man God once was a man Black is white, and 2+2=5, it'll be alright now I'm looking down on you, from a cloud, 'cause I crashed my car, yeah And it was all my fault, turned it 'round, I shoulda dug that moat and fixed that hole between us, but it's over now I've never seen such sin This is all my fault, and it's all my fault You put salt in my wounds, and it's all my fault, this is all my fault It's really crazy, it's really nuts, ohhh
9.	My Dad's a Mom 02:53	lyrics	buy track
My dad came home and looked me in the eye, he said, "Son, I changed my sex, and I dunno why. Whatever you do, don't tell mom. She'll just have to listen to the words of this song." My dad left home, with tears in his eyes, he climbed in his car, and said his goodbyes He said, goodbye, to me. We used to have fun, we used to have laughs, we used to take baths
10.	Merlin 10:01	lyrics	buy track
Merlin has a handsome grin, I wish Merlin was my twin Merlin with the nice dark skin, all the magic is within Bless you Merlin and your kin, I go places Merlin's been Loving Merlin is no sin, all the magic is within He'll try to cast you in a spell When you're with Merlin only fun awaits, best damn guy in the United States He's a guy you'd wanna date, I can't believe he's my roommate He'll try to cast you in a spell Dive in and save your soul from hell Merlin, oh, Merlin Merlin, oh, Merlin-lin-lin-lin Once Merlin, twice Merlin, thrice Merlin, oh you're my Merlin Merlin, oh, Merlin Merlin, oh, Merlin Mer, Lin, Oh, Oh you're my Merlin Merlin, Mer, Merlin, Merlin One, two, one, two, three, four! Merlin has a handsome grin, I wish Merlin was my twin Merlin with the nice dark skin, all the magic is within Bless you Merlin and your kin, I go places Merlin's been Loving Merlin is no sin, all the magic is within When you're with Merlin only fun awaits, best damn guy in the United States He's a guy you'd wanna date, I can't believe he's my roommate Hey Merlin, what's your name? It's Merlin, that's a neat name (Dan's Lament) What the fuck man? you left the band Appetizer, super-sizer, can I get extra ranch? Please don't go, please don't go Why is the shake machine broke?